In this episode: So... I'm not doing too well (which is completely fine.. normal... and frankly in many ways... necessary) - but I'd like to feel better. I'm realizing that many of the things that got me to this point in my journey are not what is going to get me to that next point... and so in this episode I talk about how I plan on weathering the present storm and rebalancing for what is to come.
Enjoy!
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This episode is going to focus on how I'm working to try to find balance again in my life, and show you guys some of the health issues that I'm presently suffering from.
If you guys are watching my videos with the intention of benefiting, I must caution you to try not to see me and think that you can know me.
You can't know me. You can't know anyone that you watch on YouTube.
What you're about to watch is 20 or 30 minutes of edited content. And that's not to say that I'm not being authentic.
I think a lot of people that watch me think that I'm going to feel regretful later on.
How can I possibly have regret when I'm pretty much always doing exactly the thing but I feel like I should be doing?
I've learned to align my actions in a way that I don't feel regret because I'm always doing roughly what I feel like is the right thing to be doing at that point in time.
In any case, let's start getting into the episode.
Lately, my energy is bad. I think a big part of the reason for that is that I spent many years just burning myself out, or doing things that were basically robbing from my future.
Coffee is a drug, a stimulant. It's a drug that we consume liberally and sell legally.
When you drink coffee, you're giving yourself some energy now, but it's coming at a cost, and later on, you know you're going to be a little bit more tired. There's a trade-off, right?
That same trade-off is one that I've made pretty intensely over the last 8 years.
The first 4 years after my epiphany, not only did I have all this incredible energy, but I was so addicted to this feeling of adrenaline and energy that I was also drinking coffee, and I had a prescription to Adderall.
That's horrible.
Over the last couple of years, I have found better balance. My work over the last eight years has pretty much never burned me out because it's always been stuff that I have enjoyed doing,
I definitely enjoyed work more when I was a designer. One of the trade-offs that I had to make as I was growing my business is that I was doing less design and I had to start doing more administrative type work.
I was now building a business.
To be very honest, it's not something that I enjoyed initially. But, I've been able to find a way to love what I'm doing, even if it's not necessarily within my essence.
I've had every possible job you could imagine.
Then I worked as a designer and I became one of the best designers in the industry, now I've taken a business and built it from zero to lots of employees, I think of over 35 employees.
I've been able to do this all myself.
I'm able to just do work in a way that doesn't wear me down.
I was spending entire days, where I was robbing myself from the future. Right now, in rebalancing myself, my focus needs to be on how do I start to stack up time where I am restoring myself instead of robbing myself.
After the gym, I came home, took a cold shower. Laura was here. We went to the cafe, worked for a little bit afterward. After the cafe, Laura and I went to go do go-karts. After that, we sat down at Starbucks. I cheated and I had a half cup of coffee.
I came back to the house afterward, and I basically just sat in bed for a bunch of hours. At 6 o'clock I had dancing.
And now I'm here.
How I'm going to kind of get myself out of this mess and rebalance myself.
Before I left to Montblanc, I was feeling pretty good for the most part. I had been eating only meat and fat for about 30 days, and I was feeling really good.
Carb consumption was not good for me.
As far as just what I'm doing now to rebalance myself I think the diet is the most important thing.
I'm going to continue to just eat meat.
And the last thing I wanted to give you guys is what I think will be a beautiful metaphor:
I need to just dance more.
I needed to be strict. I had a lot of things that I needed to prove to myself. I needed to go to that mountain, I needed to climb it.
When you dance, every person has a different sort of essence. Every every single person has a different energy.
When I first started dancing, I wasn't connected to that.
But now as I move along the course of my dance development path, I'm coming to understand and work with my essence.
This is how I'm going to deal with each of my individual problems.
There's no correct way to do anything.
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