What have I ultimately realized? What happens when I do not listen to my Guru?

Affirmation : 4 , Page 14: Sri Guru Granth Sahib.
SIRI RAAG MEHLA PEHLA

Har bin jiu jal bal jau
Mai apna gur puch dekhya
Avar nahi Thao.

Har : refers to God, God's divine wisdom, God's divine qualities.
bin : refers to absence, lacking, without.
Jiu : my existence, the fact that i am alive, survival, vitality, spark, consciousness, my breath, being,
jal -bal jau: burnt, melt away, scorch, agitated, jittery,anxious,broken , disturbed, stressy, unquiet,uneasy.

mai : refers to my mind, inner self, subconscious, inner quest, innermost and central part of my mind,
apna gur : refers to my Guru, Guru's shabad, guru's wisdom
puch dekhya : questioned,interrogate, cross-examine, put forward, propose, seek to get an answer, inquired.
avar nahi thao: no alternative,no way, no strategy, no other technique. no other course of action no other modus operandi.

Dear God, Without your wisdom, I am totally lost, my inner being and consciousness is jittery, disturbed, agitated, scorched and i lose my inner spark.
All my interrogations, questions, cross examinations come to a standstill , due to the disparity in my thought process and your wisdom and
now i have ultimately realised that compliance, surrender and acceptance to your wisdom is unavoidable.

sumeet kaur,gurbani affirmations,sikh holy book,guru granth sahib,